Fleeing Mediocrity

"The great tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it."

I'm pretty good at anything I try but I tend to dabble in so many things that I haven't really excelled in any one area up to this point. I love to be active, but cherish the downtime as well. Not too much annoys me more than those who think they're better than others. I hate being "the nice guy" but I can't change it...I know, I've tried. I love having pictures of things I've done and places I've been, but am faced with the dilemma of trying to choose between really experiencing the moment and only having the mental memories, or detaching myself from the activities enough to take the pictures to remember it by, but by doing so risking not experiencing the fullness of the adventure...if that makes any sense. I'm a people-pleaser, much to my dismay. I want to be an actor in Hollywood movies more than anything. I am continually trying to pare down my possessions and obligations so that I can attempt to live the life I've been given more fully.

I am constantly struggling with the idea that I should be somewhere else, doing something better in order to achieve some specific level of success that is currently unknown to me...and it drives me nuts.